Mark and Anne’s story

Mark got in touch with Birthlink not long after turning 50. He felt that he wanted to search for his birth mother now rather than wait and for it to be too late.

Mark registered on the Adoption Contact Register for Scotland but unfortunately there was not a matching registration from a birth relative. However, Birthlink was able to offer him the chance to search for his birth mother as he had his original birth certificate which gave her name, Anne, as well as a last known address. The search led us to England and gave us a possible address for Anne. We wrote out and within two days Anne got in touch.

She shared that when she received the letter that she immediately knew what it was about and that it had given her a sense of peace. Getting the letter meant that she knew that Mark was alive and well. She explained that things had been so different 50 years ago when Mark was adopted. She felt that it should be Mark’s decision to start the search but if he got in touch, she would be open to any contact. The first question Anne had was “Is he okay?” When Birthlink contacted Mark to let him know Anne had been in touch his first question was also “Is she okay?”

They started by sharing some letters and photos through their Birthlink worker. This continued for a few months as they worked towards a meeting in the Birthlink offices in Edinburgh. Although the photos had “made it real” nothing could prepare them for the meeting. They were both anxious beforehand and had questions such as “How do we start? A hug? A handshake?”

When they met, these worries disappeared, and they embraced when they first saw each other and did not let go for some time. They spent a few hours in private getting to know each other and agreed to meet again before heading home. The next day the nerves subsided and they both felt things had gone well.

They shared contact details and have been in direct contact since that day over a year ago. They have continued to get to know each other and have met up although sadly due to the lockdown restrictions have not been able to see each other for a while. However this has let them explore their relationship and the past further. Mark has asked more questions about his family history and they have shared photos and memories and have seen the similarities in each other. On Mark’s 52nd birthday just over a year after they met, the second birthday since they had been reunited, Anne emailed Mark at the time of his birth, late in the evening. She wanted to acknowledge that day and that time as it was important to her and Mark. Mark was very touched by this as well.

In the almost two years they have been in touch Mark and Anne have continued to be supported by Birthlink. There have been ups and downs but there is a strength to their relationship which has formed a solid foundation for the future. Birthlink looks forward to being there to support this and see where their journey takes them.

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